by J. C. Corcoran
Almost two months ago I began work on a new book – a cookbook.
I have been living alone for two years now and I have become a fairly good cook. I even bought a Slow Cooker and a bread machine which I use at least once a week.
I have a good friend in England and, when I told her about the cookbook, she thought it sounded like a good idea and even agreed to send me some recipes. And, all of a sudden, I’m making crumpets and curry, and Yorkshire pudding among other things.
Now, here I am, almost two months later; I have dozens of recipes logged into my computer but, there are dozens more stacked on top of my dining table, and another dozen on my desk, and I’m not doing a thing with them. I have come to a screeching halt and I don’t know why.
It’s been at least a week now since I have done any work at all; just moping around the apartment doing nothing. It might have been last Sunday, I’m not sure exactly, but I do remember walking from room to room praying; asking God to help me to break through this thing….whatever this “thing” is that’s weighing me down. Then I stopped walking; closed my eyes and started crying; and then I screamed, “God, I’m scared.”
I looked around at the stack of papers on the table and desk and I began to reason with myself. I have two complete manuscripts (novels) shoved into the bottom drawer of my desk. I’ve been unable, thus far, to find a publisher and I cannot afford to self-publish. And I scream to the empty room…”That’s why! What’s the point? Why should I do all this work to just watch it gather dust in the drawer?”
Now, fast forward to today…Sunday, November 26, 2017. I’m sitting in my chair, thinking about these things and remembering what my friend in England said just a few moments ago “You need to go and do something.” And while I’m thinking about all of this, suddenly, these words interrupt my thoughts….”You’re afraid to step out of the boat.”
And in my mind I see this picture. The disciples are in a boat; it’s late at night and suddenly they see Jesus walking towards them on the water. It says in Matthew 14:26 that they…”cried out in fear.” Peter got out of the boat but the others huddled in fear, and I saw myself; afraid to step out of the boat.
Fear comes from a lack of faith and we are told in Romans 1:17 to live by faith; and Jesus tells us in Matthew 17:20 that with faith as small as a mustard seed, we can move mountains.
The people of Israel had to put their feet in the water of the Jordan River before God parted the waters and allowed them to escape certain death. They had to step out in faith.
I’ve learned my lesson and now I feel it’s my duty to share it with you. God can’t do a thing for us until we step out in faith. Oh, He can, but He won’t, because He wants us to trust Him. We need to step out in faith; step out of the boat and put our feet in the water. In other words, like my friend said, “go do something”.
And so, I ask all of you, who read this, to please pray for me as I step out of the boat, begin to write, and conquer my fear through faith. Thank you all and may God bless you.
- J. C. Corcoran